Kawiria: Friday Feels -5

Because we still Thank God It's Friday.

Hello Please.

I’m wondering

Why we are driven by fear so much, yet the universe keeps showing us that nothing is definite? You could be here today, but tomorrow is not assured. People could be thinking of you this way today, and the next minute it could flip and it could be because of something so small that you have little of no control over. So why do we feel like we’re prisoners of our present, yet there’s so much possibility beyond the present? Why is it so hard to decide “let me explore other ways of doing it if this isn’t working?”, “let me explore other things if this isn’t working?” Fear cripples us, whilst courage liberates us. We know it, but we give fear more power over us.

I’m feeling

Like there is progress. The best thing I have done for myself today is to do an online personality assessment with Plum. Plum is a platform that examines your problem-solving abilities and highlights your strongest qualities. After you complete the assessment, they provide you with a profile of your talents that highlights what types of workplace environments you’d be happiest in as well as questions to ask in an interview.

And this makes so much sense or me, especially now. I don’t know what stage of your career you are in, but if you are feeling some type of way and you need a reminder of what kind of human you are with regards to employment/work, I think this one is an eye opener. I love the approach they’ve taken in their communication and how they unpack the information for you, because it’s about bringing out the best version of you. They tackle it in segments that inform each other. In this order,

– Your personality

– Are you in the right career for your personality?

– Questions you should ask yourself and your interviewer when interviewing for a new position.

Here’s my plum profile.

I’m excited about

The unplanned and impromptu short break I took, because I was feeling like I was crashing. It’s really helping me put things into perspective.

I’m looking forward to

Finding stability in my thoughts, in my heart and generally, in life. I was trying to describe to the therapist what I was feeling like before I started the sessions with her. The only thing I could equate it to was baseball game, or even closer home a game of rounders. You know when you’re the batter, and pitcher is just throwing the balls at you, and you keep missing them and some keep hitting you because you have no control over them anymore. You lost your focus right when the game began and you can’t seem to recollect yourself and the few that you manage to hit are not as impactful.

And when we were kids and we always wanted the strongest in our team, and we would oust the weakest link and they would be made the helper just so that they can be a part of the game, but that’s just about it, they had zero impact on the outcome of the game. That’s exactly how I felt. It’s been a period of a lot of instability and feeling like I’m not hitting the balls that matter right.

I never thought I would be in a place like this, but I am, and now I am climbing out of that shithole.

I’m listening to

A lot of Arlissa. I think she’s an amazing artist and I relate to her songs so much.

I’m watching

Nothing in particular at the moment. But today I want to pick up an old flick and re-watch. Not too sure which one(s) yet.

I’m reading

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Mason. All I can say is that it’s timely. Even though I have really slacked on my reading.

Good Reads

I’m craving

Explorer samosas. Then some warmth and coziness over a nice movie! Nothing much.

I’m wishing for

A miracle.

Quote I’m living by

Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

John Mayer

And even if someday doesn’t reach and it never makes perfect sense, it still happened for a reason.

Stay Insured,
Kawi