My Best of 2017
Some tea please?
Being the first day of 2018, I have really willed myself to find the energy and enthusiasm to do a blog post. I had lost my mojo. Not that I have found it yet, it’s still somewhere in the woods trying to find its way home. It feels closer though, like it’s stepping into a more familiar territory and that is what has given me the courage to pen down this first post in 2018. If I stay any longer, I might forget how to do it and yet it’s one of the things that give me so much joy.
I thought maybe I should first warm up the house with the 5 lessons that I picked up these past few months that have helped me through my downtime. I won’t even put the year demarcation on it, like ‘oh, these were my lessons learnt in 2017’, I’ll just say that it was my time to learn those things.
- Keep moving: Life happens when it does and most times it doesn’t find you prepared for what it’s about to serve you. And so in retrospect, you might feel destabilized, unprepared, inadequate and so overwhelmed. But somehow you realize that every day, all you need to do is gather all your inner strength, get yourself up and do what you need to do. The more you keep doing that, the days pass and you slowly get accustomed to your new way of life. You adjust and you figure out how to deal with everything that’s happening. And slowly, you start feeling a little more human, a little more stable, a little more capable, a little more at peace. One day at a time and putting one foot in front of the other.
- Sharing is therapeutic: When you are going through it, whatever it is, it feels like it’s you against the world. Like out of all the people on this earth, you were the chosen one to experience this kind of despair. You want take on that dark corner and wallow in your misery all by yourself. Until you decide to confide in one person, or two, or more and then you realize that you’re not alone in this madness. That it’s a human thing and it happens to others. And they are dealing with it, overcoming it or living through it. If you can afford a therapist, it’s even better. Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to see one. Book that appointment. They will help shed some light on things you can’t figure out on your own.
- Don’t settle: There’s this type of comfort that comes with familiarity. When you’ve been in it for a certain period of time for one reason or another, you stop trying, you stop going the extra mile or you stop doing the most. On the other hand, it makes you overlook or be okay with things that are not okay. You even start making excuses to camouflage them. It becomes your reality and you wonder why life feels so constricting and yet there’s so much to explore, so much freedom outside of your rut. Your rut is your comfort zone, where nothing really happens. Where you are literally soldiering on and enduring it day in day out. It’s like the hamster on a hamster wheel. Till when? I think the way life is set up; you have choices, always explore them. Don’t be stuck in that rut when you can graciously step out and experience the world from a different viewpoint.
- Seek to know yourself: What is it that you want? What is it that you don’t want? What are your irreducible minimums (lol)? What is it that you know for a fact? What is it that you absolutely are clueless about? Answer with whatever pops into your mind when you ask yourself those respective questions. Then take a step back and evaluate whether your present is in sync with that. If it’s not, you have some work to do on yourself. If it is, keep populating and reviewing them, because you keep growing and as you grow, you keep changing.
- Allow yourself to feel: This for me was so instrumental, because it’s the only way I could then process, internalize and reflect on what I was going through. Whether it’s a feeling of disappointment, unpleasantness, unattractiveness, inadequacy, loneliness, failure, unfounded fears, anxiety, you name it. Take it that that is what you feel, allow yourself to feel it, and then start narrowing down to what is actually making you feel that way. Then see how you can work through it. I’m still dealing with my demons; it’s not that I have figured all my shit out. However, it’s a step in what I feel is the right direction.
So, shall we have a genuinely happy new year? Even if it feels like you’re at the bottom of the barrel, remember that, “You’re worth than Gold, so hold your head up high. It’s your time to shine, from the inside it shows.” Here’s one of my fave throwback songs for you 😉