Of Fading Smiles

Sometimes I have moments of weird realization. Like now. When you think of life and how it is and you just nod your head and give God an imaginary High Five. How in a split second things can happen, a turn around. Not that anything has happened to me, am just thinking, with life, you live for the moment. Literally. If you’re happy now, be happy don’t suppress it. The next moment someone could just dumped your moods and everything goes up side down for you. It could be something as simple as a minor disagreement. All over sudden it becomes the elephant in the room and your smile slowly fades.

How one could be smiling on the outside, but crushing in the inside. I am not one to deny that I do that a lot. I can be in a happy mood, but somewhere at the far corner or maybe a big part of my heart, there is something is probably bothering me. Or just by the fact that I cannot involve other people in my personal problem when I have one, I still need to show that everything is okay. You crawl back to my cocoon and your smile slowly fades.

You meet a friend in the streets, of course you’re happy to see them and they are happy to see you. It’s all smiles, despite what’s going on in your lives. You forget your problems for a moment as you remember all the good things, the good times. Then they walk away and you’re back to normalcy, maybe you were feeling inadequate, unloved, frustrated or just … you know one of those shitty days where you feel like the world is against you, then your smile slowly fades.


Don’t keep that smile away for too long though. You just never know who’s falling in love with it. It’s always in the smile. They say, but I think so too. So even when it’s fading away, am the positive kind, I will force my mind to think of that one thing or two or more that are bound to make me smile. Like for instance how I’ve just managed to finish up my thesis document. Now just some corrections from the supervisors and I start getting ready for the defence … teren, teren! Then I could be finally graduating and giving my imaginary speech…lol. I also have exams right now, I had even almost forgotten about them.

It’s labour day tomorrow! Yaaay for a weekend in the middle of the weekday. I just can’t wait to be done with all these reading stuff. Maybe I can have my almost normal life once again.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*