The One Thing About Birthdays I Struggle With.
As you would know this past week was our birthday, I think I had talked about it enough already. Ha ha. I practically took up any opportunity I had to talk about it and just settle in to the fact that I am now older and by virtue of that, hopefully wiser. Sometimes you need to talk about it for it to sink in or for you to be in touch with the reality that is, you’re growing and as you grow, more of you is needed first by yourself, and then by those around you. And you somehow just have to be aware, be present and be consistent.
But there’s one thing that I didn’t let you in on. That in as much as I talk about it, birthday celebrations creep me out, like totally creep me out. The thought of taking on that responsibility of gathering all my close friends together to celebrate me (us), in a nice and cozy place and ensuring that they’re all happy and comfortable. Or setting expectations in my mind on how the day should be and what my friends/family should do for me or what we should do for ourselves, and if it doesn’t go that way, there are chances that I will feel disappointed. So this whole time, I had avoided those two situations because I feared that if it doesn’t work, I will feel disappointed, and I didn’t want to start the year disappointed. Who does anyway?
I love that it’s my born day, and that it’s the one day that I actually feel like I’ve grown mentally. Strange huh! Like, “it’s a plus one, so you’ve got to up your game ma!” Those are the kind of conversations I have going on in my head. So, on the day I did my last post, I asked myself that after all these years, I have attended other people’s parties and dinners, so why exactly do I fear organizing one for ourselves and having our friends and family over? Before that, we had tried to figure what we want to do, and I kind of kept downplaying it, like we can have dinner for like 4 people and just keep it small. However, deep inside, I knew I wanted many of our close friends there – to have a chat, a laugh over good food and drinks, cut cake and just make merry together.
So I went ahead and prayed about it. Yes, interestingly so, I pray about the things I fear doing, and then I somehow get the courage or psyche to do them. It’s like I get back up. Anyway, so I took on the internet went to EatOut and searched for a restaurant that we could host our birthday. And that’s how I found the hidden gem that is Asmara Restaurant, an Eritrean restaurant located in Westlands. It’s a serene and chilled spot with a simple and beautiful set-up that sets the mood for the evening and is ideal for a semi-large crowd – we had about 30-40 friends – which is way over what we had booked for but they still accommodated us. I was modest when booking, so they were expecting about 15 people, but lo and behold!
Now the things is, and it’s the same thing I said during “speech time”, I didn’t foresee everyone turning up, I had made up excuses for them in my mind seeing as it was a Wednesday and a workday. But each of them joined us, and we celebrated the day together. I was so happy that I forgot to take pictures. I was even more happy that I spent that evening and the rest of the week doing what I enjoy doing the most, chilling and socializing – basically catching up with my friends on life – what’s going on, what they’re up to, what their plans are, looking back and just giving each other life, to keep pushing, to keep doing and to keep being. We eventually had 2 cakes and hosted 2 mini-parties, one at the restaurant and one at our house. We can now take it easy for few more years. Just a few.
Well, for me the tough lesson I continue to learn is that when you really want to do something, go ahead and do it. Face Your Fears. Don’t make excuses for those that you want to be a part of it. If they make it, that’s absolutely amazing; if they don’t make it, it feels sad, but you’ll be fine and remember that they could also be having other obligations to meet. Most importantly, go with the flow, always go with the flow, because high expectations = disappointments, especially if they’re not within your control. Setting high expectations is a good challenge, but when it’s your birthday, just let loose and let the simple things in life make you happy.
I know it’s quite cliché, but the most cliché statement are the ones that people fail to undertake, so it needs to be constantly repeated for you to find the confidence to go for it. I’m full-on back to tackling the year and I am looking forward to the people, spaces, places and roads (literally and figuratively) that this bit of my journey will lead and expose me to.
Once again, thank you for always passing by and for the beautiful wishes and blessings you showered me with on my birthday. Feel free to engage with me anytime, I love it when you do. Have a fantastic week ahead Snippers 🙂
Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*