What defines a woman?

With reference to this post:  Every Woman’s Desire : It’s an Excerpt from the book ”Captivating – Unveiling the mystery of a Womans Soul” by John and Stasi Eldredge which my mum had gotten for me as a birthday gift. Well, somethings like this come in handy in life because as it is, this books has helped understand some things about women. Yeah, we try to understands ourselves too.

Women, Relationships, Life

So here goes, “What defines a woman?” This is the most difficult topic. Even us women don’t really know. But anyway, according afore-mentioned book, “Most women define themselves in terms of their relationships, and the quality they deem those relationships to have.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but honestly speaking. Just take a rough look at all the women in your life…this is for both men and women to  do. Ever since I read that book, I’ve always tried to prove this point wrong (the last 8 months). To say that they did their analysis wrong – that a woman cannot just be simply defined by her relationships, emotions and so on. How now? I also did not get it at that point.

Now, I totally understand. Have a look at these women:

A woman who is educated and so learned, they’ve done their degrees, masters and maybe even PH’d

A woman who is living on the fast lane – she’s probably a C.E.O or Manager of some big corporation

A woman who works to earn a living i.e it could be any level of work.

A stay at home woman, *desperate housewives kinda woman*

A woman who is still a student

A woman who is popular among peers, could classify her as a Celebrity

A woman who has aged and now is reliving her life with grandchildren

I was just trying to classify the different kind of women we would find in our society. I am   pretty sure we all have a female friend who falls under this categories or many others that I haven’t mentioned. Ever asked them “Hey, How are you doing?”

Women are not like men, when you ask a woman “Hey babe, how are you doing?” Her first, very first instinct or thought will be emotional  again correct me if im wrong. She will say how she is based on her emotions. Whether she is she happy, in love, sad or depressed. Unlike a Man, when you ask him, “Wassup dude, how are you doing?” His very first instinct is material. It’s in terms of his business or deals. Whether they’re doing well, he’s making money or he’s getting the publicity he needs.

This is quite interesting, when I actually realised it. Do you know a woman could have prospered in everything she is doing but if her relationships are a fail then everything she’s worked for really loses it’s mean. A woman’s pride is the success of  her relationships with the spouse, friends and children. That’s why women have so much drama, but for some reason, they eventually make up with the person they had issues with. And if the relationship is still sore, that will be the most depressing thing. It’s one of the reasons that would make a woman cry or feel that she’s not worth it.

It’s said that you can get a woman all the material things in the world, yes women like material things, dresses shoes, perfume, handbags, cars but show them no love then you have practically done nothing. They cancel out.


Why do you think a woman will work on their appearance for hours? Why a woman would stand by her loved ones no matter the circumstance *ride or die*? Why a woman would be easily conned by some ruthless con man using some emotional game? Why a woman would cry while watching a sad or mushy movie?

And the King of them is, “Why all the movies or programs that target women all have relationships/marriages in it?

Ever seen a group of women sitting together, when you come close, what is the main topic of discussion? Even when they are gossiping, what do they gossip about? It’s always on RELATIONSHIPS. It could be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, Mother/Child, Clande/Clandestine. Even when the agenda is business oriented, a women’s first thought is her relationship.

This is the one thing that makes men and women very different. Sometimes men would except the woman to be the pillar of strength, because truth be told, women are strong and can technically handle anything that comes their way – I’ve witnessed that, but they are much better and stronger when their relationships are on check.

There’s a quote I like to hate, it sounds a bit cold but it’s so true.

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

Anyway, I think now that men know that a woman is defined by her relationships maybe that could be a starting point of “Understanding Women”. I know it’s not the easiest role but I think just as a man invests in his business and analyses the environment *SWOT*, so can he invest in the emotional side of a woman too. Make her world worth living – not necessarily just for spouses,I mean friends too.


“The woman came from a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved.” ~ Unknown

That’s just spot on. I shall not add nor deduct.


Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*