When you’re Not Okay, But you have to be Okay.
I know that sounds kind of twisted, but have you ever been in a situation where things are not okay for you, but when you face the world, you have to feign that things are rather alright, because it’s not like you’re about to have a self-pity party?
Well, as I was reading my current read, which is Miss Purdy’s Class by Annie Murray, it occurred to me that that’s how we live life every other day. From the book, most of the students in her class are from extremely poor backgrounds and when they get to class, each one of them has to just act like everything is alright where they’ve come from, yet it’s not. You can see from how the look, how they dress, how they behave, how they smell. But their objective is to get to school and read as is expected of them. There’s also a point where she has to act like everything is okay when she’s recounting her days events to her fiancé, because she realizes she needs to paint a better picture of where she has chosen to work.
If we were to do an account of the number of things we go through in our personal lives on a daily basis, and noting that some of these things are influenced by our surrounding environment, I swear you’d be dishing out hugs to everyone you come across. Because you realize that everyone is actually going through something. If every person you meet was to speak their truth, and nothing but the truth, you’d be surprised by how many feel battered by life.
Sometimes life presses you so hard on the wall, and at the same time holds you hostage that you can’t share or express yourself to those around you, so you have to continue living like everything is okay. And the way life is set up, sometimes you can’t tell unless someone opens up. So many times I’ve found myself in conversations telling my friends, “Oh gosh, I didn’t know, I wish you had told me.” The best you can do is just hope that things become better for you over time. It’s not that you’re not working hard, or that you’re not doing what is expected of you. You could be doing all that, but still life hands you the lemons.
And when life hands you lemons, they say you have three options; 1) cut them up and eat them up raw and feel that tartness split up your tongue, 2) make some lemonade which is more palatable and quenching 3) grab some tequila and salt.
Going by a recent example, the time I felt that I had to feign that I was okay when I really wasn’t, was when the company I was working for went into receivership and mostly because everyone kept asking whether I was okay. “Of course I am okay, like I really am,” I would say. And I had to say that over and over again even to myself for me to believe it. I felt that I had to be strong for others (especially for my close family and friends), because if I was not, then I would make them worry about me and well, that doesn’t right the situation or make the situation any better. That was pretty much my mode of operation for the better part of 2016 as I tried to understand the position I was in.
Well, I think life is a series of “being okay and not being okay” moments and we don’t have a choice but to live with that. However, I wish that we could each strive to make the lives of the people we interact with on a daily basis easier and better. Whether it’s in the way that we treat them, serve them, talk to them or even work with them.
You have the ability to leave someone feeling like life has served them a chilled glass of some really good wine as opposed to lemons.
So go on and be good to somebody today!
Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*