Why it’s Important to Put Yourself First

You cannot give what you don’t have, because you give what is within you.

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So I made a gentleman’s agreement with my new friend and she has challenged me to put my thoughts to paper and get off my comfort zone. IKR! The nerve? For all I know, she’s meant to agree with me, at least for now as a new friend. But when I opened up to her and told her how I love writing, but I just don’t feel like doing it right now or I’m feeling too lazy to do it, she was hearing none of it. And since I’m trying to keep up with my 52 weeks saving challenge and at least fulfill one New Year resolution, here we are. Just know when I am not telling you things here, I am paying a hefty fine. I don’t like her so much right now. Okay, I lie. I clearly needed her in my life.

It’s been a while since I wrote on growth and wellness, yet I feel like that’s the one area that I have made a positive stride in. It’s been a rollercoaster for better part of this year and last year, as you would know and for once I feel like we’ve gotten past the inversions and dark tunnels and we’ve slowed down. That I can now take a break from the shouting and screaming and passing out, then waking up and finding myself in the same awkward position and doing it all over again. Now I am looking back at where I am from, and I am like, “Goddamn, that was one helluva a ride.” It really was.

Do I regret going through the hell-ish ride? Nah! And that’s an honest answer. It has made me. It has toughened me up. It has made me realize that it’s okay not to be okay, and it’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to seek help when you are not okay, whether from a professional, a family member, a friend or even a stranger. That was the first time in my life that I literally surrendered to my feelings, picked up my phone and called my parents and my close friends and told them that I was not okay. I had never been in a position to admit that I was not okay, because I thought it was not okay to not be okay. It’s also the first time I saw the real value of a therapist. Before I would think one must be really f*cked up to be seeing one. Perhaps we are, because we are human.

Most of all, it’s your responsibility to deal with the problems that come your way. Finding out what you can do to make a situation better. Making those tough decisions, because you know what’s best for you. You’ve got to put yourself first, because let no one lie to you, everyone else is putting themselves first. This doesn’t mean that you’re selfish (although we’re intrinsically selfish as humans…lol), it means that you are making yourself better so that you can have the capacity to be better for others.

You cannot give what you don’t have, because you give what is within you. You also cannot receive what others are giving you, because you will feel unworthy of receiving what you cannot reciprocate. Click To Tweet

You will always feel indebted to that person(s) and always pass the vibes of I am not enough or like they do the most while you do the least, while in essence, it’s because you have not embraced these things. So what are the things you desire around you or from the people you interact with? Is it love, peace, kindness, happiness, forgiveness, wholeness, positivity? Just think about it,

  • You cannot give love when you don’t have love; neither can you receive love when you don’t have love. You cannot forgive another when you haven’t forgiven yourself; neither can you accept forgiveness from another when you haven’t forgiven yourself.
  • You cannot be kind to another when you are not kind to yourself; neither can you embrace another person’s kindness towards you when you’re unkind.
  • You cannot give someone a feeling peace when you are not at peace with yourself; neither can you be comfortable with another person being at peace around you when you are not at peace.
  • You cannot be happy about others or with others when you are not happy with yourself or about yourself; neither can you be comfortable with another person’s happiness around you. Like, “why are you even happy? It’s annoying.” “Why are you always positive? I’m just a pessimist.”

Always seek to find ways to fill the empty cups within you of those things you desire around you. Click To TweetAs the golden rule says, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” And that right there is why you should put yourself first. I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this, do you agree or nah?

Stay Inspired,