Be Like So and So

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance, talking about campus life, because that’s where our familiarity kicked off. Then we went into work, and the conversation escalated very quickly into what he thought I should be doing so that I can be in a better position than I currently am. It’s great to receive these pieces of advice from people who are visibly doing way better than you in terms of livelihood. Because, don’t we all to make a tonne of money and buy all the things that money can buy?

It was quite an interesting conversation, because he’s in the sales (business development) side, while I am in Marketing. And I was just explaining to him how I admire people in sales and how aggressive they are when it comes to dealing whether it’s business or personal development. And especially the fact that they make some crazy commissions from their sales, while for some of us, commission is a theoretical term that we just learnt in school, but in reality is a rumor. It was quite the conversation filler, though I actually wish I was a greater negotiator than I am and a sales person, even just for my own personal reasons.

Then he dropped the bombshell which was, as long as I’m doing what I do, I will never make the kind of money I want. I haven’t yet made it yet, so I wasn’t going to counter that statement, it could be the painful truth. And he went ahead to ask me if I admire a certain lady in his sector, and of course who wouldn’t? She’s grown through the ranks and now calls the shots. And then he says, “I can make you just be like her.” And you will make some real money to buy the cars, the houses, loads of entertainment, the works. Because magically, there was a position available. It was the reason behind it that put me off, and I gave him a piece of my mind. Though I think he cared less. Because when did it become about those things, why would I do something I really suck at or yet, don’t enjoy at all at the expense of the imagined “good life.”

Now, don’t get it twisted, I want those material things and that’s why I work so hard. However, that’s not what makes me wake up every morning and go to work or decide. I don’t say, “since I want to earn this and that, I will wake up and work my ass off.” Maybe I was cut off a different cloth, but besides it being a motivator, if that were my main reason, I would be one really unsatisfied being. So when he told me about what I should do to follow the lady’s footsteps and be like her, it put me off.

And it took me to way back when folks used to compare you to your siblings or neighbors kids and they tell you, “you see so and so, why can’t you be like them?”. Forgetting that it is one thing to look up to someone (or admire them), but it’s another to be just like them. First, it’s not humanly possible, and second, it’s okay to just be you – you could be the one who saves the world. The direction you’ve taken in life may not be one for bagging quick bucks, or gotten you to the creme de la creme status yet, but as long as it makes you feel fulfilled; or like you’ve created value for yourself and to those around you, then I believe you’re doing really well so far. Sometimes we get so caught up in the rat race, that we get lost in trying to identify our purpose and end up feeling like a wreck, like there’s nothing more to look forward to. Just don’t be that person!

“It takes courage to resist the pressure to comply with the expectations others have for you. It takes even more courage to break the rules for establishing a career or building a business. Start by breaking some small rules and build from there. Make your own plans. your own style. Speak your own thoughts. Build your own life, and when other people’s rules aren’t working for you, make your own.” ~ Forbes

How’s Thursday taking you? Don’t worry, Friday just heard your plea and the weekend is almost here!

Signing ~~~ *Kawi*

  • I agree with you, our paths in life are different and while we admire others it doesn’t mean we should be like them. We have our own paths to fulfillment plus satisfaction material things fades so fast.. it cannot be the only thing we are working for.

  • Whether or not I chose to be OK with it, the arc of my life’s narrative will be decidedly different from that of my closest friend, or even my brother. Even though finally coming to terms with this has not given me perfect joy, I can at least brave each new day with one less burden.

    Pamoja.

    • Hi Abuga, that’s a great resolution, and even if it’s not given you perfect joy at least it’s made you feel fulfilled.