Crying, Not For Weakness.

Having one of those bleeeeh mornings…I feel like whining. I am feeling woiye for myself for no apparent reason. I’m all okay … but it’s now when someone pushes me just a lil’ bit on the negative side, or cracks a very very funny joke, I shall take that opportunity and shed a tear — not the wailing (crying baby) kind, just the one that lets the water in your eyes flow. More like cleaning up my tear buds … lol, if that makes any sense.

The thing about me is that crying actually makes me happy…in the long run. I think that’s why I totally loved Lipstick Jungle, the series (damn them for cutting it short…sigh!). I’m a crier …. yeah that’s what those who crying comes automatically call themselves.

The thing about my crying is that, I never expect someone to feel sorry for me because I’m crying. I just want to let out the compressed feeling, or pent-up anger that I have inside and trust me it works *at least it does for me* , and not unless someone knows and understands me, they will take up my crying for weakness.

My best friends can attest to that … whenever I cry it’s not because I want them to feel sorry for me…and I will always explain that, I bet they get tired of hearing the same words “the tears are just coming out, it’s nothing serious, don’t mind me”, sometimes I even send alerts, although many at times they notice I’m about to cry way before I even think of it…and all I hear is “don’t”‘ (always comes a bit earlier than too late…)and in a few minutes we are laughing about something else, or they are probably laughing at me and thinking “where the hell did those #thetears come from”.

Well I know from when I was a kid, that crying always portrays a kind of weakness of sorts, I mean that’s why if a dude cries, the dad probably pulls a “Be a man” or “Don’t be a cry baby”, plus it’s just weird if a dude cries…lol.

Oh well looks like that memo was received and intentionally ignored. I’m a happy person, those people who know me can at least attempt to say so. If I never cried, to be for real, I think I’d be the saddest kid on the block.

Crying is like my way of releasing all the pent-up stress, it’s like my anger management. It’s my way of getting over a situation. I bet that’s probably why I’m quick to forgive, maybe that’s why I never hold grudges.

There are many instances when I just find myself wanting to get a stack of tissues and sit down and just cry, then move on with life.

  • When I am arguing with someone over something and at the end of it all or even in the middle, my eyes get all soggy, reddish and some balancing tears can be traced. . To me it never means that i’ve lost/i’m weak, in most cases, I avoid being vulgar in arguments, and when I’m too angry and pressed to the end of normal usable words, i.e I run out of words I feel like I  just want to cry..and when I am cry I can only say much…or nothing.

It’s funny when I think about it, because few minutes after letting out, through my eyes instead of my mouth or is it tongue, I am back to my smiley self and happy about other things the world/life has to offer. And the argument in my head is dissolved and even if not resolved, I’m not angry anymore. More like my therapy.

  • When I see a situation that brings a wave of pity or helplessness, it could be in real life or even fictional like in a movie. I will tear, cry.

Sometimes if I don’t I would feel like there’s a potato in my throat that just needs to be let out…and clearly there’s only one way. If not, I have to distract myself by laughing at someone else who wants to shed, or even talk/discuss the movie.

  • When someone makes a comment or gives a story that is extremely funny/hilarious.

This is the killer…I’m the kind of person that laughs to tears, gets rib-aches. My best friend and the mr. can attest to this, because they are the culprits. It’s like torture, sometimes it’s even hard to control the laughter and the tears that come along. I even end up begging for the joke to be stopped…lol

  • When in a certain circumstance I feel like I’m really trying to so hard, but there’s no effort being made. Or if I do something and expect something then it doesn’t happen as I’d thought. If I’m in a difficult position, or if I feel put off or looked down upon.

I know this sounds lame, but when narrating it, I’m a pro at feeling sorry for myself…and that’s what would make me shed a little tear. in most cases eyes are rolled to prevent anything from spilling…lol, because in this instance it’s usually embarrassing to cry, but if i’m free with you…haha there’s no for rolling eyes…let out via tears is the only optimal solution, so that I can be fun after.

  • Moody, Moods, Mood Swings!

Sometimes there’s no reason as to why one wants to cry … Maybe it’s just a natural process for cleaning the eyes…or maybe it’s just hormonal imbalance hence the moods, that pushes you to tears…I don’t know. Sometimes one would just look for any valid excuse to shed a tear. And after all that is done, one is happy and content and ready to share a laugh with others.

The aim of this is just to say, that if you see a woman *or me* crying it’s not because I’m weak – if anything, I’m one of the strongest, most optimistic person you would see around *TOOT TOOT*, it’s our/my way of letting out. It’s my way of handling my stress, anger or too much happiness.

Crying is my “Home-Remedy Therapy”…now that I don’t have enough money to spend on spa’s and psychologists…lol

Ps: The crying is not an everyday thing, It’s a once in a not so long while thing. It could be days, weeks — pushing it — months.



Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*