Guilty for Not Honoring Your Reflection Time?

We throw the around the word reflection when we’re looking for some self-motivation, or when we want to indulge our minds and challenge ourselves in knowing ourselves better. We think through our past, present and future. It’s an exercise that’s prescribed as a daily dose. It’s suggested that the best time is when you first wake up in the morning or right before you sleep, you know when everything is calm and everyone has retired to bed. But truly, does this work for you? For me, it’s a struggle – especially at those suggested times.

In the morning, I am almost always groggy. In between trying to steal a snooze, being quizzed about why I always take eons to get ready, my hair just refusing to cooperate or my closet suddenly looking foreign. It’s always a bad time. I don’t have a moment to just blink peacefully, let alone think. And when I get to the office early, and I’m alone, I feel like I’m overwhelmed with the ‘to do’s’, whether for myself or for work, but it’s not like there’s much that can be done then. So most of the time I opt to read a book for that hour before official work time; to equip my intellect or enrich my vocabulary. When I do, at least my mind is not on over drive and when I start the day, it feels fresh.

Reflection, Life

In the evening, it’s liberating that at the end of a long work day you can shut your laptop, and as you walk out of the building declare that moment as your end of thinking capacity. Then you get home and circumstances require you to fit into your other cap, which in my case is the house wife. The cleaning, cooking, catching up, which are all quite involving and by the time I’m getting a moment to myself, it’s bed time, my eyes are heavy and all I want to do is drop off.

I started realizing, for that reason, I am always experience a sense of guilt for not making time to reflect – and just figuring myself out. Because even when I have that moment, my mind wanders dwell so much on the present. Agonizing over what do I need to do now? What I haven’t done now? And instead of coming out feeling motivated, I feel somewhat overwhelmed that there’s so much to do, yet so little time. It’s also at this point I find myself doing so many things at one go and not necessarily getting anything done to a tee. That could also be the reason why I would have a million and one tabs or word documents open at the same time.

So since early mornings and late evening is clearly not a good time for me, I’ll definitely try spare at least 30mins within the day to myself and especially away from my desk to reflect – and not so much about the present, because when it comes to the present, sometimes you’re forced to do some things on the spur of the moment. While others, if you had anticipated their occurrence earlier, you would start preparing for them and it would have less impact should it not go as planned.

Another thing I will do besides creating the time to reflect, is to do it deliberately. Where I know the reason I am here is because I want to make some reflection, and that’s where my mind should be at that time. Basically guiding my thoughts – so that they’re not flying around aimlessly. Mostly to just answer the questions; where do I want to see myself personally and professionally in the next few days, months, years? What value am I bringing to myself and those around me? Because I don’t think someone else is accountable for how you turn out. And for that reason I have to confront myself, call myself out, and put myself on the spotlight, so that in the long run I push myself to go above and beyond my ordinary to chasing excellence.

It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon. ~ C. JoyBell C.

Do you believe in taking some time out to reflect? If yes, what’s your best time to reflect? And lastly, what do you focus on during your reflection time?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

  • SK

    About 3 times a week, I will go to the gym to have some me time. Those 40 or so minutes on the treadmill are my reflection time. In the morning I am too busy getting J ready for school and me ready for my school, and my evenings are just like yours: dinner, cleaning and putting J to bed. So exercise time is a good time to reflect.

    • Late reply, I see we’re together in this. And you’re doing such an amazing job with J. So proud of you.

  • I like to have my reflection/meditation early morning. But admittedly, motherhood throws curve balls every so often, so it is not always possible. Then jioni, it is motherhood marathon. Feeding J/bathing/ homework/ bonding..vile he is energetic, the moment he sleeps all I wanna do is sleep as well. So I learnt to steal moments for myself everyday after my evening shower. Which is also when I do my daily gratitude list. It’s been going well, gladly. I like that you are honest with yourself about morning n evening sessions…

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