Living or Surviving?

hope, faith, love

I was just wondering at what point do we stop living and start surviving? Yeah, we are alive as long as we’re breathing, moving or doing something that signifies the presence of life. Of course I don’t mean that kind of living. I mean the kind where you are content with who you are, what you’re doing, the people that surround you and you have something to look forward to. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we do that we don’t realize these things. We think just because we wake up, do our normal routines and maybe one or two new or not-so-new things in the day, we’re living it. Sometimes at the end of the day you would look back and you wonder how the day has come to an end and nothing has changed about you, within you or around you. It’s like time flies, but funny enough it doesn’t because apparently we are all given 24hrs in a day. That’s equality at its best. I mean for the person who does nothing all day and the president of America.

I won’t even deny that am one of those people. One of those people who complains time is flying and at the end of the day I can’t quite account for it. It’s probably all chalked out on some board somewhere. I doubt even the person or angel handling my board… Oh wait a minute, I diverse just a little. I somehow, well you know everyone has a kid in them you don’t?, the kid in me thinks the angels have a kick-ass time up there betting on how our lives will go. Like draw a routine then place bets if they’ll change and such like things. The things the mind thinks. Any how, back to surviving. Sometimes we just survive by the day.

But hey again,  this stuff seems harder than rocket science I say. Managing your life is actually harder than any course work or job you’re given (aye or nay?…I could be saying my own things). I’m not one to say when to stop surviving and start living. But I think the source of living is a pinch of faith, sprinkle of hope, some sacrifice and  a cup full of love. We don’t have everything we want, neither are we also in most cases where we would like to be for one reason or another. But what makes you think you can’t get there?

It’s in the lack of faith and in the loss of hope that makes us think that we’re not good enough or we don’t have what we need or we won’t get there (where we want to be). In actual sense, you actually can and you’re good enough. It’s just in the change of our attitude. To learn not to be belittled by what we don’t have but instead let what we don’t have be our drive.

In my honest opinion, I don’t even think living means doing new things per se. Sometimes we’re not in a position to change our situation at that particular time because of certain limitations. However, you could delimit them by incorporating something in your routine that makes you feel satisfied with yourself. You know what I mean? Something that makes you feel like you’ve not wasted a whole day. Something that will or could contribute towards your tomorrow. Start living. Surviving means that there’s nothing you’re looking forward to, so there’s nothing you’re really working for. You’re just doing it because you have to for your survivals sake. You’re complacent where you are and with what you have, you don’t look beyond. Your fuel has run out and that spark has fizzled out. Stop Surviving.

Start Living. Stop Surviving

ION, here’s my 2 proposal yes 2 defense story.

The other day I was doing my proposal and boy is that thing not easy. I had to defend it in the end to get approval to move on to data collection and analysis so that I can finish my thesis *someone say an AMEN*.  Well, I was scheduled for a defense, dates and all. I’ve never been to one before and I had never gotten the opportunity to attend one. So I wasn’t sure how one gets grilled and all. I had done my proposal to the “best of my ability”. “” because I really hadn’t. Then I went to the defense room and I was grilled…a good one. People are grilled, they make you look and feel like, “that’s all you did?”, “where is this, where is that…”. The corrections were quite a couple, so I was asked to go work on them and come back to re-defend a few weeks later.

Crushed and feeling like maybe am not so bright after all, okay that’s my ego talking. You know how failing in something feels. It’s not the best feeling in the world. Then I thought wait a minute, I’ve not failed, it’s a freaking re-defense! It’s basically a second time to shine and prove to my lecturers I accept mistakes, I can work on correcting them and I can produce something really good. I decided I will do my research, follow-up with my sources of study and work with my supervisors. All this time with a bucket full of hope and faith not the sprinkles and pinches I was talking about earlier. Of course a few sacrifices here and there and viola, I passed my re-defense *ego boost* but it doesn’t end there. I still have so much work to do, but I know I’ll manage for sure. I can see myself at my graduation party (if I choose to have) doing that speech…lol.

hope, faith

Thanking God for that and thats it’s FRIDAY! This week just needed to end. It’s been a long one, up and down but totally worth all the efforts. I am grateful. But does this up and down ever end anyway? The weekend is jam-packed, but it’s the weekend. I think the gist is in the name, end makes you want to heave a sigh of relief.

Signing ~~~ *Kawi*