Natural Hair Chit Chat: Hair Buddies
My desk mate Mondy makes it to the blog again, because she’s an awesome human being. We have this quote wall in the office, and everyone who sees it says we started it because of watching ‘Being Mary Jane’, that could be true. But truth be told, I got the idea from my colleague, Patrice, who became my quote buddy. He writes down the quotes he comes across, but he just keeps them on his desk. I’m a lover of quotes, of which I don’t remember half the time – short term memory problems. So instead of reading and just letting them pass, why not write it down and share it with others who might just be in need of that inspiration or the summary derived from other people’s thoughts?
The quote wall however, was as a result of a not-so-funny story, and my unintended humor at the office. I spent one early morning writing all these beautiful quotes I get from Peaceful Dumpling on my sticky notes. The idea was to stick then on my vision board at home, because they’re so well thought out by the author. She picks them according to her inspirational post of the day, and I relate to technically each of them. And so when Mondy and Christine (my other deskmate) found me writing them they made so many enquiries, and I told them I was just feeling inspired – after which I neatly packed them, but when I got home, those little things were nowhere to be found. Arrrrghhh! I was honestly quite disappointed. That’s an hour of my morning I’ll never get back.
Then I went back to the office and told them, “Guess what? Remember all those nice little quotes I was writing on my post it’s? I kinda lost them in transit.” They really laughed at me and I mean to tears. I let them. But together with these smart little rascals, we came up with a solution to turn the wall behind us into a quote wall. And so when anyone comes across a lovely, inspirational or quirky quote, they put it on a post it and stick it on the wall.
Back to Mondy, she put up this one that read, “MePhobia: Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it and everyone dies.” That’s the reason I say she’s awesome. Just to let her know that she’s awesome, but we can handle it and no one will die for that reason. She’s my natural hair buddy too – we encourage each other on bad hair days and on good hair days, and we understand each other’s struggles; from shrinkage, twist outs, protective styles – both failed and successful.
Anyway, the other day she chats me up and tells me she has some exciting news. My mind goes on overdrive, because exciting news! At this day and age, exciting news is something to look forward to. And as I’m there on the other side of the keyboard giggly and rubbing my hands ready to receive the news, she tells me she can hold her hair in a mini bun! I chuckled, because in as much as I was expecting, I don’t know something super juicy to ingest – like someone’s getting engaged or expecting a baby, it’s the first time that someone has ever told me such an important piece of information and it means a lot that she thought to share with me. Yooo! I did that ‘yeaaaah! Elbow in and fist thing.’ But girl you just chopped her hair the other day? I’ve been with mine since God knows when (here is my Big Chop post) and it’s still not on bun level. Maybe if slightly forced. And I tell her that’s my goal, because then I can keep one style – the bun. It’s easier to manage.
But the thing about natural hair being in its natural state is the versatility. From the surprises, the excitement, the disappointments. That’s what makes it exciting. There are times you have an idea in your mind about the style you want to do on your ball of hair because you’ve seen it on YouTube with a natural hair blogger or stylist, but then your expectation Vs the reality is a total mess, and you just wonder where to take it form there. Ask me about my twist outs.
There are other times you’re just playing around with your hair and products, just trying to see what you can make out of it, and voila! You have a kick ass style to show for it, and you can barely remember the combinations or what your magical fingers did. And chances are that you can’t re-create that style again. You rock it, and everyone is awed by it.
Girl X: Giiirl! What did you do with your hair?
Me: Um, I don’t know, I just touched it.
Girl X: What products did you use?
Me: Some oils, curl butter thingie or gel. (Because you can’t just start listing them down. Some you can’t even remember the names, you just bought out of product curiosity or it was handed down. And you barely used them because when you did it was a complete no-no. And now on a different day, when you were just done with all hair products, you try it out, and the results are like magic.
That’s what I love about it. That you can play around with it, whether short or long. You can try out water, oils, sprays, butters, gels and if it doesn’t work out, just jump into the shower and wash it off, and then apply some oil and step out, if time’s not on your side. Or just place a bow on it and say it’s a style or heck, just stay with it in its messed-up-ness and say it’s a style. People are embracing this versatility, and it doesn’t look repulsive any more, and I’m happy because then we’re not forced to conform to what people think is presentable, even by corporates.
When I had my permed hair, I just couldn’t jump into the shower when it’s too hot or I’m stressed and say ‘today I’m letting the water run through my hair.’ That feeling is indescribable. Before I did that, I had to call my hair dresser (Rex) to check on his availability and book an appointment. And if he wasn’t available, I’d have to do a rain check on the dreamy ‘water running through the hair’ shower because who’s rocking wet permed hair? You end up looking like a chicken that’s been rained on.
Natural hair, the kinkiness, that’s an advantage right there. Sometimes it can be burdensome, but even then, it still knows how to sit well on the head – whether short, long, wet, or dry – and you can work something out by spritzing some water, oil and working your fingers through it.
Embrace your kinky hair, that’s perhaps God’s gift to our race.
For 2016, my hair goal is to achieve some length without much manipulation. I want to hold my hair into a bun, is that too much to ask for? I’m not a sucker for protective styles (save for some lines every once in a while) and I know my hair doesn’t grow too fast – it takes its sweet time. So I honestly don’t know how or when this will ever happen. I’ll just pray for it, for God to intervene when I’m massaging my scalp with some castor oil or the Doo Gro Stimulating Growth Oil or Doo Gro Mega Thick Growth Oil, which are my current favorite. I use them interchangeably. Am I the only one that gets tired of mixing these natural oils? I just wanted one that I can apply on my scalp and hair without performing some chemistry lab type of experiments – 1 oz of this against that. Thankfully, Doo Gro gives me that pleasure.
It’s amazing to see other beauties in the natural hair community working towards the same goal. That’s how I’ve forced myself into the #KurlyKichanaGrowthChallenge – let’s see how this goes. Though I don’t want to get too self-absorbed or obsessed with chasing length and forget that having a head full of hair is a healthy and wonderful gift.
What are your 2016 hair goals? Nothing is lame, even growing or being kind to you your edges. Oh, I’m working on mine too.
To kinky manes! Happy Hump Day Snippers.
Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*