Synonyms: Blessing, good luck, happenstance.

Serendipity, is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated. (Again thanks to Wikipedia 🙂 )

I sat and thought, I am 22years. What can I say I have achieved, or what difference have I made in the world today…

So this is gets me thinking, uummhhh well, taking into consideration am not a singer, actor, professor, super model, doctor,lawyer,director … am just a normal girl with ambitions of what I want to be, oh, which again is not yet clearly defined. So you can imagine the conclusion i came up with … I am really nothing, and that’s the worst you can think of yourself.

Have you heard of this phrase:

“You are your greatest enemy” — it means, your greatest enemy is your own inner perception, is your own ignorance, is your own ego.”

It’s about what you think of yourself, if you think of yourself as a high achiever, then trust me, you’ll work to make your ends meet and in the long run you will be that high achiever that you confessed to be. On the other hand if you think of yourself as nothing, then what you do is you suppress your abilities, make minimal use of the available resources and for sure you remain as nothing. Yah, I hate people say that but, “It’s all in your head.”

That thought had occurred to me when I was in Campus, to be exact, sometime when I was working on my final project and reading for a freaking 9 units. How the Administration thought we’d manage that…but we did.

Honestly I used to think lowly of myself. Thank God no one made me feel that way though because it would have been worse. Or maybe I can say I used to compare myself with others. Very bad thing to do. Because everyone is different, every person has their strengths and weaknesses, every person has different access to different resources, every person is from a different family and background. I mean, comparing yourself to someone else is doing injustice to yourself, I’m sure even God was probably looking down on me and saying “You’ve got so much going for you, why do that?” but I was just being human, sometimes we have weak spirits and make errors.

So I finish my project, after hard work and sleepless nights, it went well … phew! Then the exams were crazy too, but I passed that too … phew again!

This was the now height of looking down on myself. You see how one writes the curriculum vitae before you get your results/ final year transcript. There is the portion for expected grade, so being the person of less believe in myself, I put down ‘second class upper’. I had performed fairly well in the other years. But I lacked confidence in myself to think I can achieve higher.

Anyway, somewhere in the middle, after I finished campus and before graduation I get my first job…yaaaaay! I hated borrowing my parents money, so I finally have my own pennies 🙂

Mmmh my first job, thank God for it. It’s a good start, I have a good boss and the best workmates ever. Although I feel under-utilized. I can be a workaholic and I can be a lazy girl. This job sort of reveals my lazy girl, because the office mainly concentrates on what I don’t do – programming. I’m currently in-love with project management and system analysis and design. I enjoy the whole process. But the best thing is that now that I know what I really want to do. I just need to know how to work around it, well so far, I started a postgraduate Diploma in Project Management, then am planning to do a masters in IT Project Management.

Oh well, that’s what I feel you can’t blame a girl. Like I’ve got so much potential, I just need it exploited. I need to learn how to be a starter and be super aggressive. That’s some Work In Progress (WIP).

So anyway, after starting to work, the day for graduation reaches. And thats the day I realize, “Girl, you brilliantly stupid. Like, why don’t you just believe in yourself…tsk!” I got a ‘First Class Honors’. Excitement I know, but until today it’s never donned on me. I could say I really worked hard for it, coupled with luck and God’s Grace.

So after graduation, theres the party bit. I fear, and I actually mean fear parties…lol, I love attending and organizing parties but not my own this time round we were doing mine, confessions, that was my first ever part. The thing I fear actually ain’t the party itself but a flop/boring party. Whoa the thought gave me shivers, headaches. I even went to sleep at some point before people started streaming in.

So anyway, thank God for relatives and good friends as they were all there for me. That’s were I got all the encouragement I ever needed in terms of education and career. I figured I have people who look up to me…Wow! So now I have to work hard and do my best in what I do.

From all this, I learnt that one should never belittle themselves, always think of yourself highly and it will show in your doings. Although as you think of yourself highly ensure that you don’t become egotistic because that’s something else all together. I tend to believe with egotism, one doesn’t get to far. The far you have reached in this life, be grateful for each and every little detailed. Never take anything including yourself for granted. You should thank God for the far his brought you.

I like these two bible verse:

Psalm 139:14 ” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Jeremiah 29:11 ” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Today I have gone the bible way, I like the two because they don’t have any hidden meanings that you have to think so much about, what you see is what you get.

Signing off ~~~ *Kawi*