“It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone” ~ Marylin Monroe

I have never really drawn my inspiration from her per se, because to be honest I’ve never really understood her life story and I will not question it either. Had a go with my friends a while ago about her life, why she did what she did and at some point I figured, she’s the only one who knew what she was about, only God can judge. I LOVE her quotes though, they totally speak my mind.

I am at an age where there’s pressure here, there, everywhere about relationships, how you should be in one and if you are not in one, then why aren’t you in one? When you meet your friends and family, one of the first things they ask you is how is *insert name of whoever you are dating*, and when you shrug, everyone wants to know what went wrong, “Oh my! You two look so good together, you were like the perfect couple, you looked like you loved each other so much. What happened? No, you should try and work it out. Who did what, who said what?“ bleh, bleh, bleh.

So you are dating … that’s great. But every time you whining about that person how they don’t do this, say this, how they are like this and you don’t like it. Half the time you are unhappy but for the sake of saving face among your friends and family, you just play along and pretend like everything is alright and that this person you are with is great.

You know sometimes people look at things from the outside and see like everything is rosy … think petals with no thorns. They see the colors, floweriness and the blossomy nature – its beauty, this being the happiness and smiles that the couples have to display to the public just to show that everything is ok. They don’t see what you see as the person in the relationship, they don’t feel the thorns, when the rose is withering or when it’s losing its shine. Only the roses themselves would understand because they get neglected.

“It’s just like when you have a bouquet of roses, you only see the beauty, rarely does someone think that these flowers do wither and they might need water, or they’ll eventually die and you’ll throw them. Plus they have been detached from their roots, so they’re never going to grow anyway.”

Sometimes some relationships are like that, like that bouquet of roses, there’s no life in them but when you get into it the first time you are over the roof … it’s beautiful, flowery and it just looks like it will stay like that forever until you realize, that roses have thorns, they wither if not dipped in a vase with water, they lose their shine and their color and liveliness, then eventually they die and you throw them away.

So what exactly is a good relationship like? My take, I think it’s like a tree! Why? Because with a tree you see it like it is. It’s not colored and flowery. If you like a tree, then you like for the right reasons. Why do I say this?

You see with roses, you like them because they are beautiful, colored, rosy, they smell good … which is basically the outside and it’s more material. Does anyone like roses any other way? It’s the same if you date someone based on their outer qualities i.e. looks, wealth and so on … then chances you will see nothing past that.

With the tree, depending on which tree we are looking at, you like it for more reasons other than the outward beauty. You like it for what it does for you, it will provide a shade, bear you fruits that will keep you healthy, it will protect you and provide you with shelter and you in return will take care of that tree so that it will always be there for you when you need it, plus it has its roots strengthened on the ground so it has life and will grow.

Never settle for less than you deserve no matter how much pressure you get from whomever. Be with who makes you happy. You know sometimes you can be chasing a relationship to escape being lonely, but you end up being lonelier than you were, when you are in that relationship.

I don’t know when I will ever learn this, I think now I am *hopefully*: DON’T BE IN A HURRY TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP. You are basically letting down your guard and giving someone access to either guard or break your heart. And trust me, not everyone really cares about your heart, to someone it could be a door-mat that they could wipe their feet i.e. get what they wanted from you and leave. While to another it could be there most delicate part of your body. I’m pretty sure you are looking for the later, the one who will respect, understand, trust, adore and most of all protect your delicate heart.

“Sometimes you don’t do things like get into a relationship NOT because you are stupid or intelligent, you just do them because you are human and you have something called feelings. Just learn how to contain them and when to let them out and you are good to go. ” ~ Kawiria

“Be VERY slow to catch feelings but fast to learn what’s going on.” ~ Kawiria

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*