The Struggle.

Is real. It always is, because I honestly think nothing can get realer than a struggle in life. In as much as sometimes we don’t even know that we’re actually struggling with ourselves, other people or things around us. We usually say it, but as a passing statement, or a joke to insinuate that “one is really good at covering up for what they’re lacking, using some of the corny methods they’ve devised.”

Besides seeing it, feeling it (there are scenarios that occur and you know that right there, was a struggle) and knowing it (eating you up and making you aware that there’s something wrong with the picture), is when the experience it brings becomes irrepressible, and you know that one way or another, you need to deal with it.

So this got me thinking the other day, about what are some of those things that I really struggle with? And no, I don’t mean in terms of resources because those are inevitable and in one way or another you’ll be caught in a situation. There are those intangible things that simply act as your barrier to be what or where you need (want) to be – more like your cock-blocker, and what makes it real, is that you have to work to by-pass that struggle for you to be a better you. It’s here with us, so it’s a matter of how we deal with it.

The Struggle

There’s a big list, but let me share the three that I think are such a cock-blockers;

Finding it extremely difficult to ask for favors or help. I literally cringe when I know I need to ask for help, like why can’t I just do this by myself, or how much do I need to pay for this, whether in cash or in kind. My mind goes to a place where I think I’m being burdensome to the other person(s). I experience a serious wave of confusion on how are we going to go about this set up, such that I start thinking of how I will give back – even if not now, it’s a favor debt. Strange enough, I’m always willing to help where I can, without thinking what I’ll get in return.

How to take in compliments, praises, admiration, commendations – you get the flow. Worse, when I feel the need to explain some more on ‘just’ the little thing I did to make this big thing happen, and I could have simply wrapped it up with a “thank you.” Even when I know that I put in so much effort, it’s like I forget all that and think, it’s something that needed to be done and now I’ve done it. It’s not like I discovered gravity, talk of downplaying it.

Undervaluing thyself for fear of coming off as condescending. Do you ever feel like there should be a valuing system, like you’ve done this “earn this points”, someone wants you want to do this, “you’re worth this much.” Then you can easily say that based on this value system, that this is what I’m worth, and it simply becomes your credible source. Ha ha ha, yeah I thought so too, lame. I came to realize that you’re first as valuable as you present or sell yourself to the other person, then later on, as you can prove yourself. And the moment you grasp that, you get to the next level of confidence.

These are some of the things I know I have to deal with in order to get to where I want to be. But isn’t the struggle is part of the story? What are some of the things you struggle with?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*