Throwing Off The Bowline.

I landed on the ‘73 Questions to celebrities by Vogue’ YouTube series. A little late to the party I know, but hey, it’s better late than never. It was one celebrity I like after another – actors, musicians, athletes, models. It was exciting hearing them answer some regular questions and so I spent a bit of time watching a couple of interviews. It’s just 1 season one, so it’s a little over 20 episodes and each one is a few minutes long. Nothing to beat yourself over wasting too much time. Yeah, I do that to myself sometimes, then console myself by trying to do something that I feel is not a waste of my time. Repeat. Fail.

While watching the show, I figured that I need to start settling on my favorites because my interest in things and people varies according to my settings like mood, season and even my ability to remember. Like for instance, if today you asked me my favorite color or my favorite movie, I would be unable to confidently settle for one answer to it. And when I do, it’s just because I have to, but not because I am sure that it is truly my favorite. I think I will take some time out and think deeply about them and come up with one answer to each of those questions. So that in case I am featured in such a show, I can just shoot em’ answers. At least I won’t seem as complicated.

That aside, last week was an interesting week in a socially challenging way. My friend told me, let me quote her verbatim, “do it then blog about it, two shoots just days apart. Talk of facing your fears.” Well, the genesis of the story is that I first won a photo-shoot from Kurlly Diaries after participating in a challenge dubbed #BringOnTheYellow. It’s a closed natural hair group with amazing babes with fros and from all walks of life who are brought together by all things hair. I’ve talked about Kurlly Diaries before.

So the deal was to get glammed all up (hair and makeup), dress up in something sunny, then get a photo-shoot done by a professional photographer. The process was lots of fun and got me feeling so care-free and like a million bucks. The poses, the laughter, the time with the girls. I can’t wait to lay my eyes on the photos, because I was really feeling myself. Then as I was getting back to my normal “no make-up or big hair, just some lip gloss and mini-fro” self, my friend who I like to refer to as the hair whisperer (she truly is), calls me and tells me that she would like to have me on another photo-shoot because she thought I kicked ass on the other one. However, this time round it was to be a part of her work flow, which was to showcase a certain line of hair extensions.

Jumbo Twist Braid, Crochet Braids, Amadiva
Make Up: Wacuka Thimba
Hair: Jumbo Twists by Amadiva

Now this is where it got challenging for me. You see the previous one, I won it. I was excited about it. I had time to internalize what it means to be in a photo-shoot. I knew the dates, I even knew what I was going to wear, so I was amped and really looking forward to the day. Basically, I was mentally prepared. For this new one, I was excited for all of 2 seconds, then I started doubting my ability to be in a photo-shoot that serious. And so I looked for any reason not to be in it and shared with her. I was even willing to help her look for alternative models to do the assignment. Ha ha, actually I sent her options of people she could reach out to, because I was just not feeling ready or up to it, but she wasn’t hearing none of it.

See, when a new opportunity arises or I come across a new opportunity in my life, especially when it’s very sudden or unplanned, it gets my brain super active and not in a good way. Besides the short-lived excitement that I get about whatever it is, even if it’s something I was yearning for, I get into a slump. I question the viability of this opportunity as I try to answer the what, why, when, how, how much and how. And when I can’t answer them, at that moment, I feel like I want to back out or I start second guessing it. It helps when I have someone who gives me the low down, and reassures me that it’s worth it. I thinks it’s safe to say that I’m not the kind to go YOLO’ing unless I have planned to do so. In other words, I’m risk averse. It’s so strange because I’m the most optimistic person about situations you’ll ever meet.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t give you that luxury every other day, most of the time it’s cruel on how it hands out opportunities. If it hands it to you and you let it go, it’s for another person to grab. If my friend wasn’t as aggressive as she was with me on exploring that opportunity, I would have backed out. Looking back now, it was an experience really worth having because it’s one I had not had before. Just being a model for a day that wasn’t my wedding day, ya know! I have never spent a day just getting glammed and just looking pretty for the camera. The focus was pretty much on my face and it made me feel all kinds of pretty.

Jumbo Twist, Crochet Braids, Amadiva

Jumbo Twist, Crochet Braids, Amadiva

Jumbo Twist, Crochet Braids, Amadiva

I can’t wait for the professional photos, because my phone doesn’t do the look justice. I will definitely share them with you if I lay my hands on them. My friends wanted to kill me when I took down the crotchet braids and wiped off the make-up without demanding for a night out with the husband first. But truth be told, it hadn’t even crossed my mind how glamorous I was looking, until we were checking out the photos I took on my phone with my friends the following day. They can be really extra, they even made me regret going back to my basic self a little bit too quick. Now I’m thinking of how I would have turned this holiday look into a normal day look, but I will never know now because I was too shy to keep it on.

Jumbo Twist, Crochet Braids, Amadiva

So let me ask you,

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

I will keep reminding myself this because I definitely need it, perhaps more than you do. To all the risk averse people like me, always remember let’s work towards embracing new challenges/opportunities without overthinking. Let’s throw off the bowlines.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*