01/02, I celebrated my birthday. It was such a beautiful day. I spent the better part of the day getting pampered at a lovely spa called Illusion Spa, and for a moment there, I wished that was how every week began. Could that be how they settled on the name? Because when you’re lying there having your body kneaded, you imagine yourself living in this imaginary world. I could make that a birthday thing. My new definition of a birthday will be…
A day where you disconnect from the real world and connect with your imaginary world.
The thing with a spa day is that it forces you to be alone and one with your present thoughts. Like when I enetered the steam room and was in there for about 30 mins staring into nothing but steam and feeling the heat. All I could think about at that moment was my current situation. Until then, I had never been in a steam room. I was busy wondering if it gets more steamy than that; if I could see through the steam ( I tried); if I was sweating or it was just condensation happening. Next thing, I was happily air cycling and drawing objects in the steamy atmosphere until the time was up. It was so enjoyable occupying my mind with that kind of nothingness.
After the steaming sesh, I went in for a body scrub and mask, followed by an aromatherapy massage and finally a manicure and pedicure – all done by a lovely lady called Purity! 10/10 would recommend this as a birth(day) plan.
That said, the day turned out to be so extraordinary because I allowed myself to feel the peace and happiness that has surrounded me and permeated my space without feeling guilty about it or thinking that it’s just a matter of time before things go south. I don’t know if it’s just me, but in as much as my birthday makes me so happy, it also makes me feel so anxious because of the planning aspect and the involvement of people in these plans.
Isn’t it ridiculous how we process things that are potentially positive and good for us as a preamble to something negative? Let me break it down for you. You know,
- How you feel guilty when you have some free time for yourself,
- How you feel a little apprehensive when things are looking up for you or,
- How you feel panicky when things are calm and promising.
I coincidentally saw someone mention this on a tweet, and they said it’s sick conditioning. Of which I agree 100%! Throughout my body scrub and masking session at the spa (wooh! I need this again), that is what was on my mind. Like why do I deny myself that full experience of joy, peace, love, you name it!? I know I sound like I am about to drop a bible verse right now, but I wondered what the origin of that insecurity for me. I realised that I have to unlearn that and appreciate things as they are without overthinking them. I love the clarity and freedom that comes with realisations.
For the evening, we went for dinner at Furusato Japanese Restaurantwith my people. Lots of stories, laughter and good food, which is perfection for me. My heart and stomach were full. Then my friend proceeded to make my heart melt with this video he put together later.
Birthday aside, my sister started a podcast called ‘aFREEcanah’ and guess who is in the pilot video talking about our sisterhood journey! It’s my very first time on YouTube and the funny story is that the day she approached me to do it with her, I kinda freaked out at first because ‘what are we going to talk about?’ Suprisingly, there’s so much to talk about, because there’s so much we talk about. Please check it out and let us know what you think about it. I mean, you can even like, share and subscribe too if you happen to like it that much 🙂
As always, I’ll leave you with this quote by
The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
To other February babies, happy birthday to y’all. May the blessings of love, peace and joy fill your life.