To Commit or Not?

Commitment, a big word with simple meaning. It gives some of us the hibbie jibbies just at the thought of it. Committment means that you’re without doubt giving something or someone your all. Putting in your mind, body, soul, effort, time, money just name it. Of course there are different kinds of commitments that are there, but they’re all geared towards one thing – binding yourself to something. Where you say, you know from now on, I am going to do this and that without fail (this is to mean that whatever this is, it has to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely).

Personally, I am one of those that if I commit myself to something, by all means I am in it. However, the process before committing is a rigorous one, my small mind goes rogue. It’s like solving a complex math problem … I need to factor in all variables and be sure that should there be any changes my answer will still remain the same, that is, my commitment will still remain as it is. That it won’t change just because of a change of circumstance or surroundings.

Just the other day, I was having one of those short random meetings with the insurance lady. This insurance guys can be quite persistent, whaat! Anyway, she was selling me one of their policy products, which she had actually tried selling to me before, I was a little bit interested but I asked her to give me some time to sort out my other things first. Of course I had shown some interest and she kept calling to ask if I was now ready and I kept pushing it forward. She’s a smart and persistent one, which works pretty well with me. So this time, she calls and says she has revised the policy and she has something for me. That’s how the meeting came to be.

So as she explains the concept behind it, I’m like oooh nice! Of course I ask my a million and one question so as to eliminate my doubt, because I have heard things many things, bad things about insurance firms and their policies. After all is done, she goes like, “Okay, you will sign the documents and we can process it” … O_O huh! That was my reaction, but I want more time to think about it, and make sure that I’m ready to part with that amount of money every month come rain on sunshine. And that’s why, she goes, “Mercy, you shouldn’t fear commitments, just decide now and start.” I’m a defensive one, so I’m like, “it’s not that I fear commitments *cringe*, it’s just that I need to know that I’m ready”. Then she says, “How do you know when you’re ready?” Yikes, now that’s a hard one, but rarely do I run out of something to say. So I tell her, “The moment I put it in my mind that I am going to part with Ksh. XXX without fail and also feel like it’s totally worth the input, that’s when I know I am ready.”

That’s what got me thinking about this whole commitment thing. Fear of commitment doesn’t mean that you’re not capable of committing, it just means at least in my case that I want to know and feel that what I’m committing to is worth the effort. That the value I get back matches what I’m putting in. It doesn’t have to be a perfect balance, but the impact needs to be felt in one way or another.

Commitment is like super glue, it binds you to people, things, goals. Once you put super glue on something, the stick is permanent, unless of course you go out of your way to really unstick it. That’s the essence of commitment.

Basically, if you look around, every good thing begins with a commitment. Yet again, some bad things also begin with a commitment. To the good things, it’s because when you were getting into that commitment, you thought about it,  put your best foot forward, gave it your all and went ahead without any doubts. It’s something that needed you and you needed it back, to some extent it’s symbiotic. A commitment has to be between two parties and the benefits should be mutual to each party.

Otherwise, if it’s parasitic, that’s what leads to raw commitments. You enter a commitment with the aim of benefiting alone, it doesn’t work like that. I’d rather a person who takes long to commit to something, than commit and give a raw deal, because that then breeds resentments, disappointments, dissatisfaction. There’s no beauty in that … commitments are meant to make life lively!

Making a commitment should be as fun as making a pinky promise and making sure you keep it 🙂

Did you know that the people who commit themselves to a cause or to a person other than themselves are the most fulfilled happy people on earth? As cheesy as it’s sounds, this could actually be true. Being needed and you needing someone else and eventually being there for each other must be the best feeling, fulfilling and all. Haha even the thought is fulfilling, scrape off material things because those you can have and still remain as empty as you can possibly imagine.

You build yourself through the commitments you make, your self-esteem, personal integrity, self-confidence can at some point all be defined by it. So as you enter any form of commitment, just be sure. Be sure, that it’s what you want, that it’s worth the value you will place in it and that you will abide be it come rain or sunshine.

After all, nothing happens really until we make a commitment. So it’s that important, it determines whether your pursue something or not, whether you trust something or not and whether you want any form of involvement with that something or not.

One of those post that kept lingering in my mind. Had to put it down, hope it makes some sense. Have a FUNTASTIC weekend!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

  • Thanks for this post Mercy,am in that phase where am abt to commit myself to a relationship n the whole weekend av been like…confused until i read this thanks much.

    • You’re welcome Vonetta. Glad the post did make some sense. All the best though, plus relationships are just a part of life, so make sure you enjoy that bit as well.